Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Russel T Davies Needs a Good Kicking

On the Press Association website today:

Comedian Catherine Tate is returning to the Tardis crew for the full fourth series of TV hit Doctor Who, the BBC has announced.

Tate will will reprise her role as Donna, the runaway bride, as the sidekick to David Tennant's Doctor in the next series which will hit screens next spring.

What the fuck is Russel T Davies thinking? Was bollocksing up my childhood in 9 out of 13 episodes not good enough for him last season? Does he now need a shite one gag character actress for 13 episodes to ram the final nail into the 'Coffin of Rassilon'?

I can take Kylie Minogue in this year's Who Christmas special. That's the whole 'guest star' thing and a fine and noble Who tradition. I can especially take it if it is Celestial Toy Maker with Sir Ian McKellan in the lead. But Catherine Tate, again, is just inexcusable on an incalculable number of levels. This is an actress with all the class of dwarf pornography. A weak catch-phrase motivated talent, made famous by the ring-tone obsessed, illiterate, chav mouth breathers that Davies is so pathetically desperate to appease.

Face it, nobody likes a smart arsed, fat, spotty, ginger bird on their telly at 7 every Saturday. Especially if they have a gob that big and clearly want to be centre stage. From the reactions and commentary I've witnessed when this ladies name is metioned, I can only presume her agent (and her agents identical twin sister) occupy the positions of personal dometrix to the poor misguided statistician who is telling the world this woman is popular.

I've been a Who fan since I saw Green Death back in '73. Okay, I tuned out in the Colin Baker years (who didn't) but you've really lost me this time. I'll give Christmas a go, but I won't be tuning in next season and ya can ram ya TorchWood where the sun don't shine while your at it. You are now making popularist cock, and no amount of nostalgia will blinker these eyes any longer.

If I ever see you in the street, Mr Davies, I will gleefully punch you in the mouth in the name of quality family drama and the longest running sci-fi series of all time.

Angry of Belper

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