Friday, May 27, 2005

Slave Number One

I'm marginly concerned, and it feels slightly wrong, to get a semi-on looking at Boba Fett.

Found on Cap'n Whacky's Death Star of Fun.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Seeing the Sights

If you’ve even been on the 453 out of Nottingham you’ll know it’s a death trap to cyclists and motorists alike. Today, I saw something truly, monumentally, stupid. A man, in his early 40s, driving a large green estate car while eating a bowl of cereal (white ceramic bowl, metal spoon, cow pop, the works).

This set me thinking (well, ranting if the truth be known) and I probably see more of this than most. I spend around 2.5 hours a day cycling. Redhill to Derby, Derby to Redhill. Travelling slow enough to see what people are up to in what they perceive to be the isolation of their automobiles.

Here’s some of the stuff I’ve witnessed, by motorists, in my time as cyclist. This is not just stationary at junctions or whatever, this is going down the road in charge of a tonne of steel and rubber. I am excluding people on mobiles, those berating children in the back seat and people reading maps etc:

  • Several men shaving (cordless electric) during morning rush hour. One who does this daily. One man I actually saw shaving his head.
  • A bloke drinking coffee from an open top ceramic mug.
  • Legions of women putting on makeup and tying up their hair.
  • A man brushing his teeth, honestly, with an electric toothbrush and a plastic cup of what I presume was water.
  • Some git, in the snow, reaching around to wipe his windshield with a single, detached wiper blade because the actual articulated wipers were not functioning.
  • A man removing his pullover sweater, at around 40mph, while overtaking me.
  • At least 3 instances of people driving with one hand out on the car roof to hold down something down - twice this was a mattress laughingly secured in place with a minimum of hairy string, once this was a wooden bookshelf.
  • A bloke drinking a can of Stella, in the morning rush-hour.
  • Many, many people (usually in white vans) with newspapers spread out on the steering wheels.
  • A woman looking at a set of photographs that she’d presumably just picked up from Boots.

I’d love to hear if anyone has seen worse or can add to this list.

This is why cyclists should be issued with firearms.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Bring It On!

So wrong, but so very, very funny...

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Monday, May 16, 2005

Remember This?

Katy Manning, with a Dalek, from 'Girl Illustrated'. She was a big Pertwee assistant, back in the UNIT days.

This was the hardest thing in the world to get to look at back
when I was a kid in '78.

I just stumbled on it, online, while browsing Who stuff. Kinda made me feel young.

Bless her.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Mad as a Herring

One Sharon Tendler, a bonkers 41-years-old Jewish millionaire from London, married a dolphin last week.

"I'm the happiest girl on earth," the bride said as she chocked back tears of emotion. "I made a dream come true, and I am not a pervert," she stressed -

Apparently, the groom was quite a catch.


Sunday, May 01, 2005

DVD Review - Billy Elliot

Kinda like Kes with tutus…’

If you haven’t heard the name Billy Elliot then you’ve been living under some kind of a cinematic stone since mid 2000. You know, plucky young Billy Elliot, the lad from a broken home, who, under the shadow of the ’84 coal miners strike, chose ballet over boxing. You must know it; it’s kinda like Kes with tutus.

Billy Elliot is as British a film as can be and it's probably, much as it pains me to say, well deserving of the truck-loads of awards that have been ladled on it and it's cast and crew. Okay, so ‘classic’ is probably too strong a word for it, but it’s a big favourite amongst fans and critics, encouraging swathes of spotty young boys to apply to the Royal Ballet School and to do whatever it is that blokes do at places like that (somehow I can't imagine them nickin' traffic cones, suppin' too many happy-hour Stella Snakebites in the Uni bar and painting green stocking and sussies on a statue of Lord Palmerston).

The background of the strike is handled pretty damn sympathetically (though larger-than-life) and holds together as beautifully as the cinematography, often appearing understatedly in the background with a nod of comedy, in delicate and purposeful shots alike.

Performances are complex but believable, from the likes of Julie Walters (in her Oscar nominated role as Billy’s dance teacher) and Gary Lewis as Billy’s father, struggling to keep his family together as an impoverished and single-minded striking miner, ‘mad-as-a-bag-of-cats' Grandma (the excellent Jean Heywood) and Jamie Draven (Billy’s bullying brother) will leave you in no doubt that the critical praise that's been lavished on Billy and his family is well and truely deserved.

To be honest, all the young performers are exemplarity. Young Jamie Bell (Billy) was a total unknown at the time of casting; but it was a brave choice that stood Stephen Daldry (Dir.) in good stead. The talented, young newcomer adds a level of hutspar to Billy that you can’t help admire. Real anguish, determination, some excellent dancing and spot on comic timing. One talented young man, who's very much deserving of his heaving sideboard of related awards.

There are some quality extras on this edition, all on the second disk. There is the ‘Real Billy Elliot Diaries’ and ‘From Screen to Stage’ featurette plus the fan pleasing (though not to my taste, I found it vomitous) ‘music’ section allows you to play each song from the film individually or all together (with or without a director’s commentary) and the ‘making of’ documentary (that’s really more ‘a story of the film’) with loads of interviews with the major cast and crew for those who like that kinda thing. I don't..

The film is still outstanding, even if the DVD could be pigeon holed as nowt more than a whopping great advert for the new stage production of the same name. For fans of the movie there is more to see with the new extras queing for review on the second disc. New buyers will no doubt be happy. As for upgrading (and I guess the true fans will do anyway) I'd say don't unless your sniffing after info on the new show. The casual viewer, with little interest in the stage production or deleted scenes, may well do better to stick with their old copy.

Either way, this is what low budget British cinema should be doing. Giving us quality talent in well penned and inspiring stories.

Movie: 4.5 out of 5
Extras: 3.5 out of 5