Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Ride of Frankenstein, Revisited

I took a look at RoF in the shed today and she's gone a midge rusty. She deserves better.

After breaking my nose again yesterday, scraping half the flesh of my extremities, and getting another 3 stitches (plus the obligatory wad of gill to that money grabbing bastard who laughingly calls himself a dentist - see teeth left) the spanky new Marin isn't up to the usual daily run.

She's paggered. Bend forks, brand new £60 wheel banana'd like a good un, bent bars, the brake blocks and calipers are crushed into the rims and (for some reason) there's some serious indexing problems in the top 2 rings. She has gone to the shop, Samways in Derby, who shook their heads and said "Eeee Mr. Ewitt, ya don't av much luck" followed by "Eeee it's gonna be next Thursday at the earliest" and a mumble about not having some of the bits in stock. They're good blokes, they'll sort her out and they're cheap (must be all the custom I keep giving 'em).

And so to the alternative. I will not succumb to public transport and the good lady has been kind enough with lifts and what-not. Time to get RoF back on the road, again.

We have one working gear and it's like sitting on a brick. There are a couple of 'borrowed' bits that'll have to go back on other bikes. She weighs a ton and she steers like a ferry. No SPD's (how did I live before SPD's) and the chain was solid. The front brakes are 'temperamental' at best. She has, as yet, unidentifiable squeaks.

It's great. I love her, and I'd forgotten how much I miss her :-)

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Quality "Scary" Viral Email

This is just brilliant! I got this this morning. A quality viral worthy of the annals of Podge and Rodge.

These people aren't sick, they are reality terrorists and should be applauded for highlighting those who are foolish enough to pass this rubbish on. I can't believe that someone was actually scared by this enough to face the ridicule of forwarding on such a blatant Wes Craven style urban myth.

Check this...

WHEN U ALREADY START READING THIS DONT STOP OR ELSE SUMTHIN BAD WILL HAPPEN...READ ON TO FIND OUT WHAT...AND DONT TRY TO JUST DELETE THIS MESSAGE NOW CAUSE I ALREADY KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHERE YOU LIVE...SO LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF...MY NAME IS SUMMER...I AM 15 YEARS OLD WITH BLONDE HAIR AND BLOOD SHOT EYES. I HAVE NO NOSE OR EARS. I AM DEAD. IF U DO NOT SEND THIS TO 15 PPL IN THE NEXT 5 MIN., I WILL APPEAR TONIGHT UNDER YOUR BED, YOU WILL HEAR ME... AND SEE ME FOR ONLY A SECOND...BUT WITH MY KNIFE...I WILL KILL YOU. THIS IS NO JOKE...SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO U TONIGHT AT 10:22 IF YOU SEND THIS TO 15 PPL...SOMEONE WILL CALL U OR TALK TO U ONLINE AND SAY I LOVE U. DON'T FORWARD... COPY AND PASTE...THIS IS NOT A JOKE

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Quality.

"I HAVE NO NOSE OR EARS. I AM DEAD" - that's just some priceless translation.

I bet this'd make one of those uber creepy Japanese horror pics and it'd be the "next big thing". It's probably already in post-production. Though I suppose we'd have to suffer the American remake that wouldn’t be anywhere near as scary and would probably have soddin' Sarah Michelle Gellar in it.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Another One Nearly Had Me This Morning.

All motorists are out to kill me.
All pedestrians are out to steal my bike.
I'm ready for ya. Bring it on.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

DVD Review - Carnages.

“Meaty drama may be an acquired taste”

After a Spanish matador (Julien Lescarret) is shish-kebabed by a gigantic majestic hunk of steak, the unfortunate bovine is taken to the abattoir where he's cut up into more manageable pieces and posted around Europe.

The ears are placed under the corner of the bullfighters bed, as an honour. An Italian actress sells one the animals bones (as part of a supermarket promotion) to a couple for oversized Great Dane of their epileptic little girl (an excellent performance from Raphaelle Molinier). The animals doleful brown eyes find their way to an unfaithful scientist (Jacques Gamblin), who is indulging in an affair behind the back of his pregnant wife (the Portuguese singer Lio). A sweet natured French amateur taxidermist (Bernard Sens) receives the beast’s horns from his proud and doubting mother, as a birthday present. Some of the meat finds it’s way to the plate of a woman (Angela Molina) in a Spanish restaurant.

Yes, I know it sounds like a load of grim expressionist counter cinema bull, fit only for film students and latte swilling foreign film groupies. General consensus in the office said, that by the back of the box, I drew the short straw here when it came to reviewing this one. So, taking the beast by the horns, I sat down last night to “get it over with”.

We were wrong. There's a lot to like about 'Carnages' that raises it above the common herd. French writer-director Delphine Gleize is obviously a woman with shed loads of creative flair, plus an almost intuitive eye for texture, composition and colour. She effortlessly links these scenarios with visually cunning and respect to a beautifully crafted narrative. Admittedly, 'Carnages' isn’t the most accessible of films, but some brief snatches of humanising comic relief work nicely against the open harshness and docu-drama of the film in general.

'Carnages' uses striking visuals and some strong, under-stated acting to link the lives of this eclectic group of continentals and this keeps your attention for the first ¾ of the movie. While far from being just Euro-bull, it starts to ware a little thin after that and it seems to be trying a wee bit too-hard to convince us of their innate euro-artiness, and may be guilty of buying into their own hype and taking itself a bit too seriously for the English palate.

Bullfighting is undoubtedly one of the best known, although at the same time most polemical Spanish popular customs and, possibly, ‘Carnages' isn’t likely to gain the credit in this country that it just may deserve on the strength of our love of all things four legged and cultural differences alone. This is a red rag to many. Ignore that, it's a nicely shot and challenging movie that’s worth taking a butchers. This film wasn’t the bull I was warned it was going to be, nor the miserabalist butchery foretold by the back of the box. It’s left me curious as to where Gleize's career will lead her next.

On the DVD, you can further dissect Gleize's previously directed short films, a few standard Tartan trailers, a director interview, and a few out-takes.

Movie:
3 of 5